


The Distance Between Us

by triste



Category: Soukyuu no Fafner | Fafner in the Azure
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kazuki says goodnight .</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Distance Between Us

Title: The Distance Between Us  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: Soukyuu no Fafner  
Pairing: Soushi/Kazuki  
Rating: PG-13  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

Written for the 15 Hugs LJ community

Theme used: #1 (teddy bear)

It was rare for someone like Mamoru to show such a serious expression on his face, but he seemed to be downright determined when he cornered Soushi and Kazuki after school one afternoon.

"There's something that I'd like to give to you," was all that he said, before dashing off to the locker room.

Soushi watched him leave in bewilderment. "What on earth got into him?"

"Maybe he has something exciting to show us?" Kazuki suggested with a shrug.

"Like a new battle strategy, you mean?"

"Well, this *is* Mamoru."

And so, the two of them waited for their classmate's return. Mamoru didn't disappoint.

"Sorry it took me so long," he said apologetically as he placed his backpack down onto one of the nearby desks. "I've been pretty attached to this thing for a while now, but it's time for me to pass it on to someone more deserving. That's why I want you guys to keep it... as a lucky charm."

Kazuki seemed to be genuinely interested as Mamoru finally produced his present, but a look of sheer horror registered on Soushi's face when he saw what it was.

"Th-that's..."

"A genuine authentic, one of a kind Goubain plush doll!" Mamoru announced proudly. "You have no idea how rare these things are. It was really hard to get my hands on one."

"How come you're giving it away?" asked Kazuki. "If it's that important, shouldn't you just hold onto it?"

Mamoru shook his head, resolute. "You two deserve it more than me. Goubain is the protector and defender of all things, including boy's love! I really think that he'll bring you good fortune if you allow him to watch over you both."

Soushi's right eyebrow twitched. "There is no way that we would-"

"Turn down such a generous gift," Kazuki interrupted. "Are you sure you want to give it away, though?"

"Positive," Mamoru replied, looking earnest. "I'd be really pleased for you to accept it."

Kazuki smiled at him. "In that case, how can we possibly say no?"

"Wait a second," Soushi said warningly. "What do you mean 'we'?"

"Well, Mamoru intended for it to be a shared gift," Kazuki said innocently. "I couldn't possibly keep something this amazing all to myself."

Soushi was looking more than a little disgruntled by this time, but Mamoru seemed not to notice. "You like it, Kazuki? For real?"

"I'm touched by your thoughtfulness," Kazuki told him. "I'm sure Soushi is grateful, too."

Soushi was feeling far from offering up thanks, if the expression on his face was anything to go by, but Mamoru was too pleased by Kazuki's words to think anything of it. "It's no problem. Just be sure to take good care of it, okay?"

Kazuki held the plushie up to his face as Mamoru took his leave, ignoring Soushi's steadily growing irritation. "Mamoru seemed happy. I guess giving really can be better than receiving sometimes."

"You can't be serious," Soushi muttered as he rubbed his temples with his index finger. "Throw that thing away already. I can feel a headache coming on just from looking at it."

"Don't be like that," Kazuki chastised. " I was thinking that you could put it in your room at Alvis, or maybe hang it up somewhere in the Siegfried System. You know, like people do with the rear-view mirror on their cars?"

"Why do *I* have to take possession of it? I thought it was supposed to be a shared gift."

"Admit it, Soushi. You're a bigger Goubain fan than me."

Soushi narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Discard it. *Now*."

Kazuki merely laughed and held the plush toy out of Soushi's reach. "Don't be cruel. Mamoru would be sad if he knew that you'd thrown away his grand gesture of friendship so easily. Just... think of it like a teddy bear or something. They're huggable, right?"

"I refuse to even *touch* that monstrosity, let alone hug it."

"What about me? You'd hug me, right?"

"Not while you insist on keeping that poor excuse for a caricature."

"Goubain, Soushi. His name is Goubain. He's our new guardian, as of today."

Soushi could only hang his head and sigh.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #2 (glomp)

Looking back, Soushi knew he shouldn't have accepted Yumiko's invitation. She'd made the announcement that all Fafner pilots, plus their commander, were to have a 'bonding party' over at her house, and she'd refused to take no for an answer when Soushi had tried getting out of it. He'd always been awkward with social gatherings and this time was no different. Instead of participating, he'd taken sanctuary on the porch outside in order to organise data while his comrades played game after game and generally grew rowdier and rowdier as the evening went on.

Soushi had resisted Maya's repeated attempts to draw him into the fun, preferring to observe discreetly over his computer screen, and it was only when Kenji staggered over to where he was sitting that Soushi finally took his attention away from his work. An expression of alarm crossed over his face when he saw Kenji propping up Kazuki, who seemed to be having trouble walking on his own.

"What happened?" he asked urgently as he rose to his feet. "What's wrong?"

"You'll probably get mad if I tell you," Kenji said sheepishly. "How about we start at the beginning and-"

"Soushi, I missed you so much!" Kazuki disengaged himself from Kenji and managed to stumble in Soushi’s direction, flinging his arms around his waist and leaned on him heavily.

"Kazuki? What on earth are you-?"

"Eh, that's the problem, right there," Kenji admitted. "He's been like that ever since Michio-san-"

"Gave me alcohol," Kazuki interrupted helpfully.

Soushi stared down at Kazuki in disbelief, holding him up when he began to sway. "I beg your pardon?"

"Michio-san got me drunk," Kazuki told him cheerfully. "He forced me to drink celebratory sake and said that it would make a man out of me." The snicker that he let out afterwards was decidedly girlish, however, and Soushi could almost feel a headache coming on, just from hearing those words.

"You're saying that Michio purposely did this to you, even though he knows we could be under attack at any minute?"

"Yeah. He's irre... irresp... a bad example to children everywhere. You should punish him, Soushi."

"It's not *totally* Michio-san's fault," Kenji said with a shrug. "I swear, Kazuki had, like, three sips, and that was all it took to get him totally wasted. He's weak against alcohol, it seems. Anyway, Yumiko-sensei said to take him home before he passes out or pukes up. She's claiming no responsibility for Michio-san's actions."

"I don't want to go home," Kazuki protested. 

"We're leaving," Soushi told him firmly. "I need to get you out of here before you can be exposed to any further recklessness. I won't allow you to do anything that would compromise your piloting abilities."

"Okay then, I'll let you handle it," said Kenji, giving Soushi a grin and a swift salute before exiting the room. Kazuki's earlier giddiness seemed to die down a little after Kenji had left, and he gazed up at Soushi mournfully.

"Do we really have to go?"

"Yes, we do." Soushi hooked Kazuki's arm around his shoulders, then braced his own around Kazuki's waist. "Here. Lean on me."

Kazuki did so, and they left Yumiko's house via the back entrance. "Soushi, are you mad?"

"Only at Michio. You were right. He did act irresponsibly. He should know better than to ply a minor with alcohol. I'll be sure to make my opinion known to him first thing in the morning."

"But Michio-san is a good person. I like him."

"He got you drunk, and he's supposed to be a mature adult. He's even more of a child than Mamoru sometimes." Soushi stopped walking when he realised that Kazuki was having difficulty keeping up, and he frowned down at him in concern. "What is it? Are you starting to feel ill?"

Kazuki shook his head. "Not ill. Just tired."

Soushi sighed and released Kazuki, turning round so that his back was to the other boy and stooping slightly. "Get on."

Kazuki seemed confused for a moment and then he smiled as he took Soushi up on his offer, climbing onto his back and draping his arms over Soushi's neck as Soushi got a good grip on his thighs. "You used to carry me around like this all the time when we were little, remember?"

"Yes, I remember. You were a lot lighter back then, though."

"That's because we're bigger now. We're not children anymore, Soushi."

"I know, Kazuki. Growing up is truly painful."

Kazuki blinked in response to Soushi's melancholy tone, then focused his gaze on the ground beneath them. "You sound sad."

"Not really. I accepted my responsibilities a long time ago. I have no time for things like sorrow or regret."

"But you've still suffered, thanks to me. When I gave you that scar. When I left the island. Even now, when all we're doing is talking to each other. All I ever do is hurt you." Kazuki buried his face against Soushi's shoulder and spoke in a muffled-sounding voice. "I don't want you to be sad anymore."

The corners of Soushi's lips tugged upwards into a rueful smile. "You're drunk, Kazuki. You don't know what you're saying."

"It doesn't change the fact that it's true. You really have suffered for my sake. I always thought you hated me because of that. You *should* have hated me because of that."

"I could never hate you, Kazuki, no matter what you do."

"I know. I don't really understand it, but I know. It's why I always wanted to say sorry and couldn't."

"You have no need to apologise. Not now, not ever. You don't have to say anything else."

Kazuki remained quiet until they reached the Makabe pottery house, then slid down off Soushi's back. "It's okay now. You can let go of me." Soushi released him, and Kazuki was only slightly unsteady on his feet as he slid the front door open. "Thanks for bringing me home. You really didn't have to go to so much trouble."

"It wasn't a problem,” said Soushi, and then stepped back. "Get some sleep and have some aspirin ready for when you wake up in the morning. If you need anything, just call me."

"Soushi." It seemed like Kazuki wanted to say something, and even though he had trouble getting out the words, the need and the confusion and the vulnerability was written on his face as plain as day. It wasn't the first time Soushi had seen him in such a way, and he knew that it wouldn't be the last, but it was always the same. Kazuki would try reaching out tentatively to him, and then withdraw at the last minute. This newest attempt was no different from the previous ones, and Soushi could see Kazuki composing himself visibly as he worked on setting the distance between them again. "It's nothing. Goodnight."

"Sure. Goodnight."

And Soushi walked away, without looking back.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #3 (stuck together)

 

It was after class one afternoon that Kenji crept up behind Mamoru's desk and whispered into his ear conspiratorially. "I bet they're doing it."

Mamoru blinked in response to this rather baffling statement. "Who? What?"

"You know, *it*. Soushi and Kazuki. I have a mountain of evidence to back it up."

"Such as?"

"Observations and evaluations! I'm an expert in human body language, after all!"

Mamoru continued to regard Kenji with a certain amount of scepticism, but he also seemed somewhat curious. "Well, you do seem pretty convinced, I guess, but what proof do you have to back it up with?"

"There's my proof!" Kenji announced proudly as he pointed over to the other side of the classroom to where the objects of their conversation were sitting.

"But there's nothing to see," Mamoru said, disappointed. "They're just talking to each other."

"Just watch!"

Mamoru did so, but he still seemed puzzled when Soushi and Kazuki finished their discussion and got up to leave the room. He noticed Soushi's hand moving down to rest at the small of Kazuki's back as they walked, but beyond that, there was no evidence to back up Kenji's claim. "What was I supposed to be looking at?" he asked, frowning at Kenji's air of superiority.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kenji grinned. "Soushi was giving out the universal sign for ‘mine, don’t touch’."

"But it's still no proof that they're actually doing it," Mamoru said reasonably. "If you're that eager to find out, why don't you just ask them? Otherwise you’re just gossiping behind their backs."

"*Women* gossip, Mamoru. Men have intellectual discussions. Sex is a very important facet of any young male's life. That's why we need to talk about it as much as we possibly can!"

"But I'm not doing it, and neither are you. I guess Soushi and Kazuki are luckier than we are, in that respect."

A look of resignation suddenly appeared on Kenji's face, and he slumped over Mamoru's desk with a sigh. "You realise what this means, right? They've already beaten us. It's like they've won the game of life, especially that Kazuki. He has me beat in everything, and I'll probably end up dying a virgin."

"Didn't you use that as a pick-up line once? 'I'm a Fafner pilot, and because I'm in danger of dying at any time, I have to find someone to lose my virginity with, otherwise I won't get into Heaven'. Was that it?"

Kenji had the decency to blush in embarrassment, but he quickly tried to shrug it off. "It was worth a try, okay? It's not my fault if I never have any luck with the girls!” Then he straightened up and looked thoughtful. "Maybe it's easier to get laid if you're gay?"

Mamoru backed away in horror. "You're not coming onto me, are you?"

"As if, moron!" Kenji gave Mamoru a smack to the head, and then went back to being contemplative. "I was just wondering about Soushi and Kazuki, is all. They've always been kind of weird, now that I think about it. Even when they were little kids, they were practically stuck together like glue and joined at the hip, and they were always hugging and stuff. Remember when we all went camping in the forest? The two of them shared a sleeping bag."

"You and I shared a sleeping bag," Mamoru pointed out. "That's because you ended up wetting yours. Kaname-sensei got mad and you cried for a whole hour. It was funny. Besides, Soushi would be annoyed if he knew we were prying, and he's almost as scary as Sakura's mother."

"Then we should stalk them in secret!" announced Kenji. "That can be our big plan for the day." He tensed up suddenly when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder, and even though he had a sneaking suspicion who it probably belonged to, he was still far too scared to turn round and look.

"What are you two talking about?" asked Sakura as she peered over Kenji's shoulder suspiciously at Mamoru. "And what's all this about a plan?"

"Kenji wants to find out whether Soushi and Kazuki are doing it," Mamoru said promptly. He'd known Sakura since he was small, and unlike Kenji, he had more common sense than to try lying to her or evading any questions that she ever sent his way. 

"How could you?" cried Kenji dramatically. "You've been tattling on me ever since we were kids! We're *men* now, in case you've forgotten, and that means standing up to our aggressors."

Sakura tightened her hand, causing him to yelp in pain. "Mamoru is being smart, which is more than I can say for you. What have I told you about sticking your nose where it's not wanted?"

Kenji wibbled pathetically. "It's not *really* prying. It's a mission to verify the truth!"

"It's just as Mamoru said, and for that, you'll both be staying behind so that I can give the two of you extra work."

"Cheapskate," Kenji muttered. "Demon."

Sakura smiled down at him sweetly as she brandished her fist. "Care to repeat that, Kenji?"

"No, ma'am. Not at all."

 

~~

 

Theme used: 4 (ticklish)

It started out innocently enough, as most things tended to do, with Kazuki asking a question.

“Are you ticklish?"

Soushi looked up from the book that he'd been reading and raised an eyebrow in response. "Not particularly." He turned his attention back to his book, but he glanced over at Kazuki again seconds later. "How about you?"

Kazuki's reply was far too hurried and panicked to be truthful, but it was the look of alarm on his face that really clued Soushi in. "Of course I'm not. How could you say such a ridiculous thing?"

"It was your question to start with," Soushi said smoothly. "I merely directed it back at you."

"Oh." Kazuki avoided Soushi's gaze. "Well, I'm not. Really."

Soushi smiled, just a little. "You're always so honest, even when you're trying not to be."

Kazuki's cheeks turned red and he crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever gave you that impression?"

"I always know whenever you're lying," Soushi told him calmly. "First of all, you stutter. You also can't bring yourself to look into my eyes. You blush, you fidget, and you tend to adopt a defensive stance."

"You don't know for sure that I'm lying, though. You also can't give proof with observations alone."

"If that's the case..." Soushi placed his book down on the table and rose to his feet. Kazuki began backing away.

"What are you doing?" he asked warily. "Why did you just move?"

"You said you wanted proof," said Soushi. "I decided to verify my hypothesis."

"Verify your-? Wait, don't do that!”

Soushi was quick, however, and Kazuki soon found himself flipped onto his back. Soushi pinned his wrists down with one hand before he could struggle and moved the other down to his stomach, slipping under his tee shirt and tickling his ribcage. Kazuki let out a shriek of laughter and attempted to jerk away instinctively, but Soushi's grip was firm.

"Stop it," he gasped weakly. "Let me go!"

Soushi's face was as blank as ever as he watched Kazuki squirm, and he shook his head in response to Kazuki's helpless plea. "I don't think I will. It's more interesting than I thought it would be."

"I'm not some sort of science experiment. Anyway, I've had enough. Let me up."

"No."

"*No*? Just because I'm laughing, it doesn't mean that this is funny! Are you listening to me, Soushi?"

"I'm listening, but I'm also not acknowledging any of the words that are coming out of your mouth."

"I'll get you back for this!"

But it seemed as though Kazuki wouldn't be getting his revenge for a good long while, at least not until Soushi had finished satisfying his curiosity first.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #5 (chocolate)

It had been a long evening, and the Obon Festival was drawing to a close. People were shutting up their booths in preparation for sending out lanterns, and although most of their other friends had begun to gather on the shoreline, Sakura, Kenji and Mamoru chose to take their time in arriving. It usually took the three of them a while to reach their destination, thanks to the bickering between the guys in their group, but they were being even slower today, thanks to Kenji having gotten fed up with Mamoru's Goubain helmet.

"Just give it back to him already," Sakura sighed as Kenji continued to hold the helmet out of Mamoru's reach.

"No way," Kenji told her. "I'm not letting him wear this thing when we send out the lanterns. He'll be showing disrespect towards the dead!"

"But I wasn't *planning* on putting it on," Mamoru whined. "I won't embarrass you or the dead people, I promise."

Kenji looked sceptical, but his expression quickly turned to one of surprise when he caught sight of a familiar figure out the corner of his eye. "I never knew the core of the island would be coming to the festival."

Mamoru took the opportunity to swipe the helmet when Sakura smacked Kenji on the back of the head, and she folded her arms over her chest with an irritated expression. "Don't say those things, idiot. While she's walking around like that, she's just Soushi's little sister."

"I guess," Kenji conceded. "She's still kind of creepy, if you ask me. She looks like a little kid, but she says all this weird and deep philosophical stuff that I don't really get."

"And that's why you're a moron," Sakura said bluntly. "The only reason you don't understand her is because she's a *girl*. It has nothing to do with prophecy or philosophy."

"She's not alone, though," Mamoru pointed out. "See? Soushi and Kazuki are there too."

Kenji shrugged. "I guess it makes sense for them to hang out with her. For Soushi, anyway. When you look at the three of them together though, it’s almost like they’re a family or something.”

If Tsubaki knew that she was being watched, she gave no indication of it. Instead, she continued to skip ahead of Soushi and Kazuki, smiling cheerfully as she watched the people around her packing up their things. She eventually came to a stop in front of a nearby candy stall and looked over at her older brother pleadingly. 

"Can I have another one of those chocolate-coated apples? Seri-chan let me have some of hers earlier, and it tasted really nice!"

"No more sweets for you tonight," Soushi said solemnly. "You've had enough already.”

Tsubaki made a face, and then turned to Kazuki. "You'd let me have one, wouldn't you? It's only one more apple, after all. Please?"

"You heard her, Soushi," said Kazuki with a smile. "Can't you treat her just this once?"

"I suppose it wouldn't be too much trouble," Soushi gave in, after a moment of hesitation.

"Thanks, Soushi," Tsubaki chirped, holding out her hand.

"Stop calling me by name," Soushi said exasperatedly, reaching into his pocket and passing over a couple of coins to her. "If you're going to call me anything, it ought to be 'Onii-chan'."

Tsubaki latched onto his waist in a brief hug. "Soushi is Soushi. Kazuki is Kazuki. Why should I call you anything else?"

"You can call us whatever you like," said Kazuki as he patted the top of her head. "Soushi is grateful, even though he's bad at showing it. That's why he's going to start spoiling you more from now on."

"If they really are a family," Mamoru said thoughtfully, as the three of them went on their way, "which one gets to be the mom?"

"Kazuki, obviously," said Sakura, without a second thought. "He cooks and cleans, and he's way too lenient with Soushi's little sister. And have you ever noticed that Soushi can never say 'no' to him?” 

“He never gets mad with Kazuki, either, but he yells at us all the time,” Kenji said. “It's not fair."

"He has good reason to yell at you," Sakura retorted. "You have no discipline, and you never show any backbone."

"Like you can talk," Kenji muttered sullenly. "Isn't Soushi always saying that you're too aggressive and unpredictable in battle?"

Sakura grabbed Kenji and forced him into a headlock. "Care to repeat that?"

"Hey, don't fight," said Mamoru as he tried to break them apart. "You need to be more like Soushi and Kazuki. You'll never have a family of your own one day if all you ever do is get mad at each other!"

It was hard to tell which one was blushing brighter, but Sakura tried to shrug it off with a scowl. "Okay, now you're talking nonsense. As if *I'd* ever have a family with *him*."

"Same here," Kenji blustered. "I'd rather marry Kazuki than you!"

"That's impossible," Mamoru said sagely. "Kazuki is Soushi's. He'd never marry you, Kenji."

"I wouldn't want to be like those two anyway," said Sakura with a sniff. "Who wants perfection? It's overrated."

Kenji nodded fervently. "Hell yeah. We'll just do things our own way!"

"And what is *that* supposed to mean?" Sakura asked fiercely.

"Nothing," Kenji stuttered, backing away. "I didn't mean anything by it."

Mamoru sighed as Sakura began growling out insults and criticisms and Kenji occasionally tried to defend himself. Even the power of Goubain couldn't keep true love running smoothly, it seemed.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #6 (sleeping)

 

Even though Kazuki knew that his father would probably scold him for leaving the house without telling him first, he'd gone out anyway, feeling a little guilty but deciding in the end that it wasn’t worth waking his father up at three in the morning just to let him know that he'd be going out for a walk. He didn't have a particular destination in mind when he set off, but for some reason or another, he found himself inside Alvis on the way towards Soushi's sleeping quarters. Kazuki knew better than anyone how difficult it could be to pry Soushi away from the CDC sometimes, but even workaholics needed rest occasionally.

He'd thought about knocking before entering, but in the end he just went straight in, blinking a little as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, before making out the outline of Soushi's body underneath the covers of the bed. Kazuki found himself smiling as he shut the door behind him and pulled the chair away from Soushi's desk, pushing it closer to the bed as quietly as he could before sitting down on it and making himself comfortable.

He didn't think Soushi would be angry at the intrusion, but Kazuki intended to apologise anyway, just in case. For now, it was enough just to watch Soushi sleep. Seeing him in such a state of relaxation made Kazuki feel at ease too, but then Soushi had always had a stabilising influence over him. It was comforting to watch the steady rise and fall of Soushi's chest, and when Kazuki leaned in closer, he could make out the movements under his eyelids.

"Are you dreaming?" he said softly as he let his fingertips drift over Soushi's forehead. "What do you see that I don't?"

It was almost as though Soushi had heard his question somehow, and his eyes fluttered open seconds later. "Kazuki? Is that you?"

Kazuki snatched his hand back and looked away guiltily. "Yeah, it's me. Sorry for barging in without permission. I couldn't sleep, so I came here."

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" Soushi pulled back the covers wordlessly, but Kazuki found himself hesitating.

"Are you sure?"

"You never seemed to mind when we were younger."

Kazuki found himself smiling for real that time, and he shrugged out of his jacket, draping it over the desk before sliding into bed. Soushi draped the covers over them both and Kazuki nestled closer to him. It felt like they were five years old again as Soushi wound an arm around his waist and Kazuki pressed his face against the hollow of Soushi's throat, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply. 

"You're so warm," he murmured, and he could feel the low rumble of Soushi's laughter against his cheek as well as hearing it.

"Most people tend to say the opposite, but then I've always had trouble connecting with anyone that isn't you."

"It's not your fault. People just don't make the effort to understand sometimes."

"You do. You've always tried to understand me. That's what sets you apart from everybody else."

"So I'm different, hmm?"

"Not different. Special."

"Don't make fun, Soushi. It isn't nice."

"Have I ever teased you before? I meant what I said. You don't necessarily have to accept it. It's enough just for me to say the words."

Kazuki didn't know whether to feel pleased or embarrassed, so he said nothing. Soushi didn't push him either, and the two of them continued to lay in silence until Kazuki finally found himself able to speak up again. 

"It's the same for you," he confessed. "Being special, I mean. It's good to be different sometimes, especially if it's you."

Soushi sounded amused. "Is that a compliment?"

"I just said what I felt was right, even though I only ever seem to get it wrong where you're involved. There's nothing I can give in exchange for the things I've done before, except for myself. I know it's not much, but-"

"It's more than enough," Soushi told him abruptly. "I don't need anything else as long as you're here."

Kazuki couldn't help smiling when he heard that. "In that case, I'm yours. If you'll have me, of course."

“Mine?” asked Soushi.

Kazuki’s voice was gentle but firm. "For as long as you need me."

 

~~

 

Theme used: #7 (hold me tight)

 

It's been almost six months since Soushi returned to Tatsumiya Island, and Kazuki's condition has deteriorated rapidly during that time. As if the effects of piloting weren't enough, the assimilation process only served to make things worse, leaving Kazuki's body considerably weakened. He's slowly dying and there isn't a thing Soushi can do that will help him.

Kazuki never lets it get him down, though. Whenever Soushi asks why he isn't upset, Kazuki merely smiles and says that he has no reason to feel sad. 

"You kept your promise," he tells Soushi. "You came back. That's all that matters."

Even though Soushi has come to accept the damage over time, it doesn't make things any less painful. He does what he can, even though Kazuki is usually the one who ends up caring for him. He rarely leaves the house these days. The loss of his sight has never seemed to hinder Kazuki in any way. He never complains about the simple chores that would seem mundane or troublesome to anybody else, and it's all thanks to him that Soushi is so healthy and well fed.

Soushi just wishes he could do the same for Kazuki. He's eating less and less now, and he seems to spend more of his time sleeping than waking. Even something as small as washing the dishes tends to drain away most of his energy, but he never accepts Soushi's assistance when he offers it, saying that he's only sick, not helpless.

Toomi-sensei calls by twice a week to check up on him, and Soushi finds himself grateful for the fact that Kazuki can't see the expression on her face as she takes his vital signs. Her chatter is bright as she works, but the look that she wears is always of sorrow or pity, and they're the last things that Kazuki needs right now.

Maya keeps it together better whenever she visits, but Soushi has lost count of the number of times she's broken down as she walks out the front door. He understands how she feels, and he also knows how much it hurts to see Kazuki in his current state. Both he and Maya have experienced the loss of precious people during battle, but Kazuki is altogether different. Soushi's father, Shouko... They were gone in the blink of an eye. Kazuki just fades away little by little with each passing day, and although Soushi realises that Kazuki prefers to be this way, he still struggles to come to terms with it. Kazuki simply accepts his oncoming death, and he's grateful that he doesn't have to fight until the very end, that he can leave peacefully, without any regrets.

It's funny how Kenji seems to be the one who understands this most. He doesn't visit quite as often as Maya, but that's mainly because his attention is mainly occupied with Sakura. She seems to grow stronger as Kazuki becomes weaker, and even though Soushi considers her to be a valuable comrade, he can't help feeling resentful sometimes. He doesn't see why Sakura should stay while Kazuki has to go. Kazuki scolds him for those thoughts, and Soushi always finds himself being reminded of Tsubaki when Kazuki reminds him that in order for something to live, something else has to die in its place, and that it's only a natural cycle, no matter how cruel or unjust it might seem.

Soushi remembers hearing Kazuki speaking those same words to Canon, and it makes him smile through his sadness. Canon, although being awkward and uncertain, hangs onto Kazuki's every sentence with the rapt attention that a pupil would show to a teacher. Aside from Michio, he's the only person who has ever left such a deep impression behind on her, and even though she knows that Kazuki cannot defeat this particular enemy, she chooses to listen and learn from him, rather than giving into her anger and her grief.

It's during these visits that Soushi realises how Kazuki's mind works. He wants to continue making memories right to the end, and as long as Soushi keeps these happier moments in mind, it somehow makes things feel a little easier. When he closes his eyes, he can picture Kazuki dozing on the porch, bathed in the glow of the setting sun. He can picture Kazuki sitting in the back yard with Canon while they groom Chocolat together and comb the knots from his fur. He can picture Kazuki washing dishes with Maya and making her giggle by flicking some of the soapsuds into her hair. He can picture Kazuki kneeling in the Kaname dojo as he tries to teach Kenji how to focus his mind as well as his body. He can even picture Kazuki pushing Sakura's wheelchair along and teasingly threatening to let go of the handlebars and make her roll down the hill on her own.

Maybe someday those memories will serve to soothe him, but now when he wakes up during the middle of the night to find Kazuki tugging at his hand, it's all he can do to think straight when he sees how pale Kazuki is, and that he's having difficulty breathing.

"Should I call Toomi-sensei?" he asks urgently, but Kazuki shakes his head.

"Stay," he says. 

Even though Soushi has known all along that this moment would come, it doesn't keep the tears from stinging at his eyes, or the tightening sensation from tearing up his throat.

"What can I do?"

"Just hold me."

Soushi does so, gathering Kazuki into his arms and embracing him tightly, taking one of Kazuki's hands into his own and pressing it over his heart. "I'm here, Kazuki. I'm right here."

Kazuki's voice is barely louder than a whisper, but Soushi is so close that he needn't strain in order to hear him. "Before I go, remember to clean rice properly before you eat it, Soushi. Never mix the colours with the whites when you're doing laundry."

Soushi doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Idiot. Worry about yourself for once instead of saving your concern for me."  
Kazuki makes a sound that's a cross between a chuckle and a cough. "It's all right. I wrote instructions down and taped them onto the stove and the washing machine. Now you won't have an excuse for breaking anything again."  
"Idiot," Soushi echoes weakly. "I'll never be able to do those things without you."  
"Toomi will help, and so will Canon. You're not alone, Soushi." Kazuki moves his hand away from Soushi's heart and lifts it up to his face so that he can touch his cheek. "I'm going to go sleep for a while, okay?"  
"Sure," Soushi murmurs, closing his eyes and letting the tears spill over. "I'll see you when you wake up."

They both know it isn't true, though, but Kazuki doesn't bother to correct him as he lets his own eyes slip shut. "I love you, Soushi. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't," Soushi promises solemnly. It's getting harder for him to speak now, but he manages to say the words while Kazuki can still hear them. "I love you too. I always will. Only you, Kazuki."

There's a smile on Kazuki's lips, but he isn't breathing anymore. 

Soushi feels his heart break cleanly in two.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #8 (bear hug)

 

Whenever Soushi got upset about something, he usually tended to sulk. He'd sulked when Kazuki left the island and he was sulking right now as he let Kazuki into his room.

"What's wrong?" Kazuki asked as he made himself comfortable on the couch.

"Nothing," Soushi replied stiffly, sitting down at his desk and crossing his legs in an irritated fashion.

"That's not true," said Kazuki. " I can tell. When you get angry, you always make this face." Kazuki furrowed his brow and pursed his lips in an exaggerated imitation of Soushi's own expression.

"I don't have such a face," said Soushi, his tone perfectly wooden and flat. "If you have nothing to do other than make fun, I suggest you take your leave instead."

"I must have done something to get you this worked up. Are you going to mope all day, or are you going to let me in on what you're thinking?"

Soushi seemed to consider this and Kazuki waited patiently for Soushi to make his decision. He must have reached some sort of conclusion in his mind because he suddenly crossed his arms over his chest and switched from defence to offence. 

"I don't like it when girls look at you," he blurted out. He looked even more uncomfortable now, but he chose to clarify his earlier statement by saying, "That's what makes me angry, when girls keep following you around all the time."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't deny it. Canon Memphis stalks you with every chance she gets, while Toomi Maya hardly ever leaves your side. She also touches you inappropriately. She holds your hand, she puts her arm around you... She even forces your face into her... her..." Soushi closed his eyes as though it was causing him physical pain to get the words out, and Kazuki raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Her what?"

"Her woman's bosom!" Soushi snapped irritably

"She was giddy from the effects of her first training session," Kazuki soothed. "She didn't mean anything by it. Besides, Toomi is my friend. Sure it's embarrassing, but I don't mind her doing that kind of stuff."

"Because you like having your face thrust into a woman's bosom?"

"No, because I like knowing that Toomi can lean on me whenever she needs strength. She *has* lost a lot of important people lately, in case you've forgotten."

Soushi looked momentarily ashamed of himself, but he covered it up with a frown. "Well, I still don't like it. She’s a threat, and a dangerous one at that."

"So that's what this is all about," Kazuki said with a smile. "You've been feeling threatened by Toomi. That's why you've been so uneasy lately."

"I never said she was a threat to *me*," Soushi stammered. "It's the mission I'm worried about most. Why would I concern myself with anything else?" Kazuki just laughed, and that made Soushi even worse so with a huff, scowling at the wall in front of him.

Kazuki walked up to the chair that Soushi was sitting on and leaned in so that he could speak directly into Soushi's ear. "Did you ever think that I could possibly belong to anybody other than you?"  
Soushi turned his head on reflex, bringing his face within millimeters of Kazuki's. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. Have I ever been fighting for Toomi's sake? Did I ever leave the island for her, and then return to it for exactly the same reason? Have I ever made such a huge effort to understand Toomi the same way I understand you?"

Soushi faltered a little. "I...”

Kazuki smiled fondly at him. "I know you're smart, Soushi, but you can be a real idiot about some things, so allow me to spell it out." He pointed to himself. "Me." Then he pointed to Soushi. "Yours."  
Soushi stood up so quickly that he almost knocked the chair over in his haste, and it was Kazuki's turn to be surprised when Soushi yanked him into a hug. 

"I suppose it's not so bad when you put it like that," he said roughly, hiding his face against Kazuki's shoulder. "I could even put up with having women stare at you. Just don't stare back at them."

"I promise," said Kazuki, still smiling. "I'll never stare at anyone but you, Soushi."

 

~~

 

Theme used: #9 (falling)

 

You wonder sometimes, about yourself. About Kazuki. You wonder why loving someone has to hurt so much, for you and for him, but most of all, you can't help thinking that what you're doing isn't right or fair. Will you always catch him when he falls? Will he let you?

There are times when you can't stand to look at yourself and acknowledge the things that you've done. You can't stand to think about how you're bringing your most important person one step closer to death whenever you send him out to fight. Kazuki knows as much as you do that pilots with higher aptitude stand to have their life spans shortened dramatically, and it's painful to see him suffer in such a way.

Kazuki never wanted to change, but you are the one who altered him against his will. You took this kind and gentle boy, and taught him how to destroy in order to protect the things that he holds dear. It's frightening to think that you don't understand him as well as you'd like. You wonder why he doesn't hate you, but most of all you wonder if your feelings are merely one-sided, that you're pushing something onto him that he isn't ready to accept. He's as bound to you as you are to him, but it's nothing as wonderful or glorious as you've always hoped for. There's too much guilt, too much uncertainty, too much anxiousness.

He tries so hard, in spite of that. He's risked so much, and you know you'll forever be indebted to him because of that. He's always fought for you, despite not knowing your reasons for sending him out onto the battlefield, and when confusion threatened to consume him, all he wanted to do was understand you.

You still don't get it sometimes. You don't get why he'd ever want to feel closer to a person like you. Kazuki's earnest desire for you to share everything, while taking the good along with the bad. You just don't get it.

Kazuki doesn't lie. He's far too simple and honest. That's why you believe him when he justifies his reasons for staying by your side. He only smiles and says there's nowhere else he wants to be, that he made his decision and that he willingly chose to follow the path that you're leading him down. You believe him, but you don't feel deserving.

Kazuki is patient, though. He always has been and he always will be. Slowly but surely, he's teaching you the opposite of what you taught him. He teaches you how to live and how to love, but most importantly, he teaches you how to accept yourself and who you are.

There's nothing you could say or do to drive him away, even when you feel so cold and distant. He's always there, keeping you stable, keeping you secure, keeping you sane. You need him more than he needs you, and even though you try so hard sometimes, in the end, it's always Kazuki who ends up being your salvation. The words never seem to come out the way you want them to and that's why you try to express your thoughts and your thankfulness through your embrace. Understanding is a lot easier when you're close, and when you hold him in your arms, it's like an anchor that keeps you grounded.  
There's so much you want to tell him and so little time you have to be together, and you cherish every moment like it's your last. You've tasted the bitterness of regret before, and it isn't something that you care to feel again. It doesn't matter if you find yourself muddled occasionally. The most important thing is that it's Kazuki, that he's here with you, that you're not in any immediate danger of losing him when he's lying so very close.

He says that he's fine with being bound, and that the only thing he desires is the happiness that he claims to find in you. Maybe someday you'll be able to see yourself through Kazuki's eyes, but until then, it's okay to be confused.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #10 (worse days)

 

Kenji envies Kazuki. He has done for a long time now. He's never once managed to better him in martial arts or in academics, and Kenji knows deep down inside that Kazuki isn't the kind of opponent he can beat. There's just something about Kazuki that makes him stand out, and Kenji knows he's nothing much in comparison. He doesn't need Mamoru to show him facts and figures and scores and tallies to know that Kazuki is far superior at piloting. He doesn't need Sakura's mother reminding him to stay focused and work on reading Kazuki's movements better when they spar at the Kaname dojo. Kazuki is too far ahead of him and the gap is too wide for Kenji to keep up.

It just isn't fair. It isn't fair how Kazuki seems to glide through life without making much of an effort. It isn't fair to hear people murmuring whenever Kazuki walks past as they regard him with pride and admiration. They expect great things from Kazuki, and he'll always rise to the occasion. Not like Kenji. No one ever expects anything from him. He's a joker, he's a clown, but most of all, he's merely average. Nothing at all like Makabe boy wonder.

Kenji would hate Kazuki if only he weren't so damned *nice*. He's kind to everybody, even those who don't deserve it. He's also remarkably grounded, and he's never once shown any sign of pride or arrogance. He's quiet, polite, respectful, sweet natured... In short, he's everything that Kenji is not.

Kazuki isn't perfect, but Kenji sometimes thinks that he's not far off. He still can't get his head around why Kazuki is so popular with girls when he barely even pays them attention. Maybe they like the boy-next-door type, or maybe they prefer the kind of guy who cooks and cleans. Whatever the reason, it makes Kenji feel nauseous when he sees Maya staring wistfully in Kazuki's direction, or when he sees Canon trailing behind him at a discreet distance. 

Even Sakura gets in on the act sometimes: "Kazuki can pilot without a synergetic suit.” “Kazuki's defeated more enemies than the rest of us put together.” “Kazuki always gets priority during the mission."  
And so on and so on.

It's enough to drive him crazy, but still, Kenji just can't bring himself to dislike Kazuki, not when he tries so hard to get along with everyone. Kazuki never asked to be special, any more than Kenji asked to be stuck in the background. It's just one of those things, and instead of sulking and brooding, Kenji merely reminds himself that he's had much worse.

Besides, it's hard to be angry with someone who looks so happy. Kenji can envy Kazuki all he wants when it comes to fighting or schooling, but he'd never begrudge Kazuki of any success.  
In a way, Kazuki is the one who sets the mark for Kenji and lets him realise his far his own abilities can reach. Kazuki inspires and drives him on to become a better person, and even though Kenji knows he'll never surpass Kazuki, just trying his best to keep up is enough. That's why he never feels resentful about Kazuki possessing the things that he doesn't. That's why Kenji can watch him without malice.  
It doesn't make things any less unfair, but it's easier for Kenji sometimes, especially when he sees the source of Kazuki's happiness. Soushi isn't the kind of person Kenji could ever understand, or want to spend much time with, but somehow or another, he's the reason for Kazuki's strength. It's because of Soushi that Kazuki seems so contented. It's because of Soushi that Kazuki grew into the person that he is today.

It's difficult to understand something that he's never experienced for himself, but as always, Kenji just watches Kazuki and learns from his rival. Soushi looks at Kazuki, and it's like Kazuki is his whole world. Although Kenji could never imagine Sakura looking at him the same way, he still refuses to give in. Although he and Kazuki are very different, there is one thing that they share. Hope. The desire to protect something precious. He sees it written all over Kazuki's face, clear as day, and it's never more apparent than when he holds Soushi in his arms.

That's why Kenji can never feel too jealous of his rival. Without Kazuki, he wouldn't have anyone to look up to, or spur him on to better himself. Without Kazuki, he'd never find the courage to get past Sakura's defences.

Maybe someday he'll succeed, but until then, Kenji can manage just fine at his own pace. Kazuki never gives up, so he won't either, and when he's gained the heart of his most important person, it'll bring him that much closer to catching up.

 

~~

 

Theme used #11 (childhood)

 

The whole thing had been Maya's idea. She'd sent out word for the rest of them to gather at the shrine, and she'd acted as the official for Soushi and Kazuki's 'wedding'. She'd even traded clothes with Kazuki and was now wearing the tee shirt and shorts that he'd switched for her yellow sundress (although Soushi had insisted that Kazuki would look better in blue), and since none of the children had ever attended a proper service before, they'd made up their own version of how it ought to go.

It was only after Maya had pronounced them as 'husband and wife' that Mamoru had voiced his first question of the afternoon. "What do people do when they get married?"

"They live together, duh" Kenji told him. "My dad goes to work and my mom stays at home to take care of things. There's other stuff that people do when they get married. They have to make babies. It's the law.”

"But where do babies come from?" Mamoru wanted to know. "And how are they born?"

"All living creatures are created from something small," Soushi said. "Like how flowers grow from bulbs."

Mamoru cocked his head curiously. "Does that mean babies are grown in plant pots?"

"Of course not, idiot," said Kenji as he made a face. "Everyone knows that babies come from the laboratory. That means they're grown in test tubes."

"I don't think it happens like that," Shouko ventured. "My cat had kittens one time, and they grew inside her body."

"Inside her body?" Kazuki echoed. "Wouldn't that have been painful?"

"Who cares about the painful part," said Mamoru excitedly. "How did they get out?"

"I'm not sure exactly," Shouko admitted. "I came downstairs one morning and there they were. Mother never told me how they appeared."

Sakura shook her head. "It's obvious how they appeared. They had to cut the cat open in order to take the kittens out. They probably do the same thing with humans."

Kenji balked. "But you'd die, wouldn't you?"

"Don't be such a wimp," Sakura said fiercely. "Why would anyone die from a little thing like that? It probably stings a bit, but I'll bet they send you home with aspirin and band-aids the next day."

"They probably sew you up, too," said Maya with a nod. "You know, to keep your insides from dribbling out by accident."

"Yeah, like your guts," Sakura said, with a hint of sadistic glee. "It'd be really messy and gross."

Shouko seemed unaffected by Sakura's graphic description, as she gazed mournfully at Kazuki. "Poor Kazuki-kun. You're going to be in so much pain when you have Minashiro-kun's children."

"I don't mind," Kazuki declared. "If it's for Soushi, then it's okay."

"But they'd take you away," Kenji warned him. "They'd hide you in the laboratory until it was time to cut you open."

"I wouldn't allow that to happen," swore Soushi as he gathered Kazuki into a protective embrace. "I'd never let Kazuki suffer."

"Wait a minute," Kouyo said suddenly. "If babies are cut out of your body, how do they actually get *inside* it?"

There was silence for a moment before Mamoru spoke up hesitantly. "I had a bug in my stomach once, when I was sick."

"How did it get there?" asked Maya. "Did you swallow it?"

"I don't think so..."

"You probably have to swallow something, though," Kouyo continued. "Maybe it's a pill? Then again, it could also be a seed. Soushi said it was like flowers growing from bulbs, right?"

"That's why my mom always tells me to never eat the seeds that come from fruit," whispered Kenji, looking frightened. "If you eat seeds, an apple tree will grow out of your mouth."

"I bet that's how babies are born," said Sakura. "You probably have to puke them up."

"If that's true, then I'm never having children," Maya said, with a shudder. "I'm going to stay young forever. Becoming an adult sounds really scary. You'd change, too, and become totally different."

"I don't care if Kazuki changes," Soushi announced. "I'll stay with him, no matter what."

"And that's the most important part," said Maya solemnly. "If you make promises, you have to try your best to keep them. But anyway, who should we marry next?"

 

~~

 

Theme used: #12 (fur)

 

Soushi had never been a vain person, but he did enjoy taking pride in his appearance. Everything about him was neat and impeccable and flawless, from his perfectly pressed uniform to his carefully laced-up shoes. He liked to take proper care of his clothing, and he liked to take proper care of his hair, which was why he never allowed anyone to touch it, other than himself and Kazuki.

Ever since Soushi had lost his home, he'd made Alvis his new living quarters, and although there was a laundry room five corridors away from where he slept, Soushi always preferred to take his things over to the Makabe pottery house. He'd make his trip once a week, on the same day, at the same time, because Soushi liked having order and routine in his life. Every Thursday evening at 6:30PM exactly, he'd turn up on Kazuki's doorstep with a duffle bag, and Kazuki would wash his clothes for him, usually while making him dinner during his stay.

In any case, Soushi trusted Kazuki more than anyone, with battle tactics, with his life, and even with his laundry. Kazuki knew how to fold his shirts the right way, and he tended to take care with every item of clothing, which always satisfied Soushi immensely, and on a less important note, he just liked the smell of the detergent that Kazuki tended to favour for some reason. It wasn't overpowering or sterile, like the stuff they used at Alvis, but clean and homely.

There were other things that Soushi liked, such as listening to Kazuki puttering about in the kitchen and humming to himself as he cooked. Everything in Kazuki's house seemed to make Soushi feel relaxed. He didn't know why exactly, but the sounds and the smells had a calming influence over him. Like Kazuki's cheerful smiles, they were something to be cherished and treasured, and Soushi didn't want to forget a single thing if he could help it.

Soushi had also come to notice something else during his weekly visits, and he'd found that Kazuki had very gentle hands. It wasn't really surprising, considering the kindness of his personality, but Soushi enjoyed those touches, even if they were only fleeting. More importantly, though, he allowed them. He'd never granted such familiarity to anyone other than Kazuki before, but then Kazuki had always been different. Ordinarily, Soushi had no need for closeness or understanding, but with Kazuki, these were the things that he seemed to crave the most.

Soushi had always been far from light-hearted, and being so solemn all the time meant that it didn't take much to offend him, but he'd never minded Kazuki's teasing for some reason. He'd never let anyone else get away with the things that Kazuki said and did, but as always, if it was Kazuki, then it was okay. Besides, there were other things that tended to balance it all out, and Soushi had learned a long time ago to accept the bad along with the good. He could enjoy something as simple as Kazuki brushing his hair for him, even if it meant listening to Kazuki's remarks of amusement. He always likened it to petting the fur of a dog, but it was only when Kazuki would jokingly threaten to give him pigtails that Soushi came anywhere close to being annoyed with him.

The feeling of Kazuki's fingers slipping smoothly through his hair tended to cancel any negative emotions, though, and like the cooking and the cleaning, it was something sweet and simple that Soushi had come to appreciate over time. Such a treatment never seemed to grow tired or repetitive, and Soushi would quite happily stand it forever, if it meant staying in such a blissful state. A fleeting touch, a brief embrace... as long as he had Kazuki, he didn't think there could be anything more that he desired.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #13 (masterpiece)

 

Kazuki was surprised to find the house already occupied when he stepped in through the front door, but he merely shrugged and slipped off his shoes before making his way into the sitting room in order to find the source of the noise.

"I'm home," he called, peering into the kitchen. "Dad, I wasn't expecting you back so soon. Why are you...?" He trailed off when he found not his father, but Soushi, and he stared at his new houseguest in confusion. 

"I received permission to temporarily take command of your kitchen," Soushi explained solemnly. “I believe today is your birthday. That’s why I’m here, to create a masterpiece for my most important person as a gift for this occasion." He gestured grandly to the cake that was sitting on the counter top behind him and Kazuki's eyes widened in astonishment.

"You made that?"

"Indeed I did." Soushi wasn't really the type to brag, but he did seem rather pleased of his accomplishment, and Kazuki could only continue to stare in disbelief.

"You went to all this trouble just for me?"

"I did it because I wanted to, not because I felt obligated." A look of insecurity crept over Soushi's face, and he avoided Kazuki's gaze. "But if you don't want it..."

"No!" Kazuki blurted out. "I mean, yes. I just wasn't expecting you to do such a thing, and, well...” He tried again, with a smile this time. “Thank you.”

Soushi cleared his throat and gestured towards the cake once again. "For you. Many happy returns."

Kazuki's smile widened and he leaned in to give Soushi a quick hug before peering over his shoulder. "It looks as though you made a lot of effort with this. I never knew you could cook, though."

"I had instructions," Soushi replied, looking both pleased and embarrassed as Kazuki admired his work. "It wasn't much different from forming a battle strategy." He cut the cake with an air of regal formality, and then offered one of the slices to Kazuki. "Please, eat."

Kazuki accepted it gratefully. "This really does look good, Soushi. I'm sure it'll taste great, too." He was soon proven wrong, however, when he took his first bite, and he couldn't keep himself from making a face in disgust as he forced himself to swallow.

"What is it?" asked Soushi in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"You told me you'd followed instructions," Kazuki said weakly. "Whose were they?"

"Your father's. He wrote a list for me, and I followed it to the letter."

Kazuki's expression was pained. "Never trust his judgment when it comes to food. He can't even cook rice properly." He noticed Soushi’s dejected expression and quickly added, "It's not your fault. Don't feel bad. We can always cheat and buy a cake from the nearby baker's shop instead."

Soushi looked appalled. "I refuse to do such a thing. I insist on making something with my own two hands."

"How about we try making one together?" Kazuki suggested. "Besides, it'll be more fun that way."

Soushi nodded. "Then I will follow your guidance. Please teach me the correct method so that I can improve upon my previous strategy."

"It's for *fun*, Soushi. You remember what fun is, right?"

 

~~

 

Theme used: #14 (balcony)

 

Canon often feels frustrated by her inability to say anything to Kazuki. It's not that she doesn't try, because she *does*. The words just never seem to come out when she wants them to. That's why she chooses to watch him instead. It's far easier than actually talking to him, and Canon treats her observations the same way she treats her battle tactics, with skill, precision, and a certain amount of caution.  
As long as she stays well hidden, Kazuki never even knows that she's there.

Sakura called her on it one time, and it still embarrasses Canon whenever she thinks about it. She doesn't know quite what she finds so attractive about Kazuki, but she likes looking at him for some reason. Even though she's always awkward around other people, Canon can tell instinctively that Kazuki possesses very admirable qualities, much like Triple 6. He's kind and loyal and dedicated to the people and the place that he holds so dear, and although Canon doesn't always understand his behaviour, she finds herself drawn to Kazuki anyway as she attempts to learn more about him.

Canon has found herself in a constant state of confusion since the residents of Tatsumiya Island took her in, and for the first time, she finds herself experiencing things like friendship and laughter and comfort. It's a world so far removed from the one she's used to that it's hard for her to find her footing sometimes.

Youko makes it easier with her sweet smiles and gentle encouragement. Maya and Sakura go out of their way to make her feel included, and now that Kanon has begun to grow used to this treatment, she finds herself beginning to like it, to desire it, even. It's the first time she's ever felt accepted before, and it's all thanks to Kazuki. He's the first person who gave her any sign of understanding, even if it was through awkward questions and stammered conversation.

No one else has ever asked Canon about her hometown. No one else has ever asked about the meaning of her name.

“Talk to me some more,” is what she truly wants to say to him. “Look at me. Tell me why I exist.”

Canon has never felt so shy before, and her ineloquence shames and frustrates her. In theory, it should be simple to just walk up to Kazuki and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, but it's far too difficult. Canon still has trouble coming to terms with the idea of free will, and it's hard for her to do as she pleases. It's also hard to let go of the comfort that comes with being ordered, if only because thinking for herself is such a frightening prospect.

Besides, it's an operation that's too delicate for Canon to handle. Although she willingly gave up information about herself, she still knows next to nothing about Kazuki as a person. It's a matter of course for her to question Maya. She's one of the people closest to Kazuki, after all, and she's one of the few who spends the most time around him. Canon is still new to emotions, both understanding and acting upon them, but even she can tell that she isn't the only one with admiration for Kazuki. It baffles her how someone like Maya, who Kazuki has already let into his heart, still chooses to keep a fair amount of space from him. Every time she asks about it, though, Maya always gives that same sad smile and says that Kazuki only has eyes for one person.

Minashiro Soushi isn't someone who Canon feels comfortable around. He's too quiet, too reserved, too distant. Maya insists that he's Kazuki's most important person, however, and if there's anything that Canon has learned since coming to the island, it's to indulge her sense of curiosity. That's why she finds herself trailing behind discreetly as Soushi and Kazuki walk together through the hallways and corridors of Alvis, and it's also why she finds herself discovering many more new things.

The first thing Canon notices is the fact that there seems to be no distance whatsoever between the two boys. It's understandable, considering how intimate the crossing can be with Fafner and the Siegfried System, but what Canon sees before her is different somehow. Canon knows that Soushi prefers to keep a large amount of personal space, and that he only makes contact or allows touches when they're absolutely necessary. He doesn't mind being close to Kazuki, though, not even in the physical sense. Canon sees them walking so near to each other that their shoulders are practically touching, and every now and again, she also sees the way their hands tend to brush.

Canon notices that Kazuki is the only person Soushi will allow a little playfulness from, and that he's never as quick to discipline or chastise Kazuki as he is with the rest of their group. Although he's supposed to be an impartial leader, whose mission is to prioritise the safety of all, it's only when Kazuki is in trouble that Soushi comes close to losing his cool. Again, it's understandable. Kazuki's job is the most dangerous of them all, so it's natural for Soushi to show more concern for their main fighter. Kazuki's skills and strength are too important to lose.

Still, it's more than that. It isn't the mission that makes Soushi look at Kazuki with such warmth and affection in his eyes, and it isn't for the sake of the island and its people when Kazuki's face lights up with a heartfelt smile.

Canon can only envy what they share as she watches them from a distance on her own little balcony, and she wonders if she'll have anything like it one day. The need she feels to talk to Kazuki dims the more she sees how he behaves when he's with Soushi, and Kanon feels an ache in her chest to witness Soushi pull Kazuki into a brief but tight embrace.

If Canon were to catch her reflection right now, she knows that she'd be wearing the same sad smile as Maya. Her watching has given Canon the understanding that she needs in order to accept and move on.

The only person who belongs in Kazuki's heart is Soushi. There's just no room for anybody else.

 

~~

 

Theme used: #15 (kiss)

 

Kazuki was somewhat surprised when he emerged from the medical room at Alvis to find that Soushi and Tsubaki had been waiting outside for him, and he rubbed the back of his head in confusion. 

"Is something wrong?" asked Tsubaki. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"Toomi-sensei invited me over for a check-up. It wasn't anything serious," Kazuki told her. "Sorry for making you worry."

"The only thing that matters is the fact that you're okay," said Tsubaki, leaving Soushi's side and moving over so that she could latch onto Kazuki's arm and hug it to her chest. "It's a nice day outside, though. Would you like to go for a walk?"

Kazuki glanced over at Soushi, but Soushi merely shook his head in response. "You two go alone. I still have things to finish up."

"All work and no play make Soushi a dull boy," Tsubaki said in a singsong voice. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

Soushi's eyes drifted down to where Tsubaki was still hanging onto Kazuki's arm before looking away. "I'm sure. Just stay safe."

Although Tsubaki appeared to be her usual cheerful self, Kazuki couldn't help wondering a little as the two of them found a peaceful spot to sit. "Is Soushi feeling okay? He seems to be in a pretty bad mood."

"It's not that," Tsubaki corrected gently as she plucked a handful of nearby daisies and began linking them together. "He gets jealous sometimes, you know?"

Kazuki cocked his head. "Of me?"

Tsubaki swatted him playfully. "Don't be silly. Soushi would never be jealous of *you*."

"Then who does he envy?"

"Anyone who looks at or touches you."

Kazuki was taken-aback by the bluntness of Tsubaki's response. "What do you mean by that? I know Soushi's been acting a little strange lately, but I figured he was under stress or feeling ill. He seems even more irritable than usual."

"That's because he's angry with himself," Tsubaki explained, holding up the chain of flowers that she'd made and smiling, pleased, as she slipped it onto her wrist. "He knows he's being possessive, but he can't do anything to control it. That's why he feels frustrated. Then he starts feeling guilty for wanting to spend more time with you by taking you away from your friends. Even now, while we were walking together, Soushi didn't like what he saw."

"But you're his sister," Kazuki protested. "Besides, you're affectionate with everyone, even people you've only just met."

"Jealousy is one of our more irrational emotions," Tsubaki said, her expression serene. "There doesn't have to be a reason or an explanation for it. Remember, Kazuki, you can never have the good things without accepting the bad along with them. The same goes for people's feelings. You're the one who brings out Soushi's positive side, but there are still a lot of negative aspects that accompany it. It's like the cycle of life and death. You can't have one without the other."

"So what are you trying to say," Kazuki asked. "That Soushi is confused right now? That he's lost? That it's my fault?"

Tsubaki smiled at him gently. "No one is to blame here, Kazuki. It's only natural for human beings to question themselves and their beliefs occasionally. If anyone can guide Soushi back onto his true path, though, it's you."

"I still don't really understand what's going on," Kazuki admitted. "But I do know that I'd never want Soushi to suffer or feel lost. I'd do anything to take those uncertainties away, even if I wasn't sure how."

"And that's why I like you so much," Tsubaki said proudly. "You're always so honest, and your feelings are genuine. I'm glad that you chose to fight with Soushi and stay by his side. But if you want to help make him feel better, I have an idea, if you're willing to hear it." She leaned in and whispered into his ear, causing Kazuki's cheeks to turn pink when she finished the rest of her sentence.

"He'd really let me do something like that?" he asked, looking doubtful. "Are you sure it wouldn't just make him angry?"

"Not if it's you," Tsubaki laughed. "Soushi won't get mad. I promise."

~~

Later on that afternoon, Kazuki went to track down Soushi. After stammering out that he wanted to speak to him in private, the two of them made their way to Soushi's sleeping quarters. Soushi also seemed to have noticed Kazuki's nervousness, but he chose not to comment on it as they walked. Tsubaki had told Kazuki earlier how much she admired his honesty, but Kazuki himself found it to be something of a curse at times. He was incapable of lying, or forcing himself to act and look natural when he was busy trying to follow through on something that he didn't quite feel comfortable with.  
He knew that he must be blushing, but even though he had his doubts about Tsubaki's suggestion, he did have faith in her judgement, and so, after plucking up his courage, he hooked his fingers loosely around Soushi's in what he hoped would be a casual manner.

He was far too embarrassed to meet Soushi's gaze, so he kept his eyes trained on the floor, half-expecting Soushi to yank his hand away from the unexpected contact. Soushi did no such thing, surprisingly, but Kazuki's awkwardness only grew when they came to a stop outside Soushi's room.

The silence seemed unbearable and it eventually drove Kazuki to take a step closer, turning in Soushi's direction and closing his eyes, tilting his face up and parting his lips a little. His heart was thudding in his chest and he was afraid that Soushi would either push him away, or worse, laugh at him, but Tsubaki had warned him about Soushi's stubborn streak. She'd also told him to try taking the initiative by showing Soushi what he wanted and then waiting for Soushi to take the next step.

It wasn't nearly as easy as she'd made it sound, though, and waiting for Soushi to close the distance and kiss him was even worse than the dreadful silence that surrounded them. Tsubaki said that Soushi had been jealous, but Kazuki found himself wondering if he'd made a mistake by offering himself up to Soushi so freely. It didn't feel as though he'd done the wrong thing, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle the rejection if Tsubaki's plan backfired.

When he opened his eyes again a few seconds later, however, he found that Soushi wasn't even looking at him. Kazuki was hurt at first, but then he followed Soushi's line of sight and blushed when he realised what he'd been staring at.

"Go for it, Kazuki," Tsubaki cheered as she stood barely three feet away from them. "Fight for your love!"

Soushi narrowed his eyes. "We'll continue this inside," he said coolly, wrapping his fingers around Kazuki's wrist and giving it a tug.

"Maybe I should go," Kazuki stammered.

"Don't think you're getting away after that," Soushi told him sternly as he yanked Kazuki into his room, giving him just enough time to see Tsubaki flashing the victory sign before the door slid shut behind them. It was only when Soushi released him that Kazuki dared to speak up.

"Are you angry?"

"Whatever gave you that impression?"

"Well, you're glaring at me, and-"

Soushi cut him off with a kiss, leaving Kazuki speechless and staring when he drew back. "I just don't expect to have to share you with anyone else," he said firmly, and as he leaned in again, Kazuki decided that dealing with a jealous Soushi wasn't really as bad as he'd thought.

 

End.


End file.
